I’m on my usual trip to Mamaw’s house. I’m visiting home from college and wanted to pay a quick visit to the oldest left standing member of the family. I pull into the stone driveway, walk in the door, papaw’s picture is still in the same spot on the right wall, then I make my way to the back porch.
We have a thoughtful conversation and catch up on how the year went. I tell her all the details about my upcoming wedding.
“You’re engaged?” Mamaw asks.
“Yes, I’ve been engaged for almost five months.” I respond.
“Oh, that’s right, I knew that,” she says.
I didn’t think much of this normal slip up. Mamaw is almost 80 years old, she’s bound to forget something. Then I start to make my exit, give her a hug and as I head out the door her mind heads out as well.
“What’s your name again?” Mamaw says.
Her first grandson. Her only family member in college. 20 years of memories. All the visits. All the meals made.
Forgotten in a moment.
Why does the mind do that? I don’t know.
It’s been two years since Papaw, her husband, died of cancer. At the beginning of that change, she was fine. Not the type of fine that makes everything seem good, but the type of fine that keeps the time ticking.
Then as time went on, that 90/10 good to bad flipped. Her good days slowly became bad, then bad to worse.
Now she is in memory care with who knows how many days left. She goes about her days wondering and trying to remember, but that normally ends up in disaster.
Mamaw has forgotten a lot of things over the last couple of months. Her sons’ ages, her husband’s death, her life seems to be a long-lost dream. But after every lost memory, she remembers one thing.
“Jesus is still king,” Mamaw said.
In the words of Brandon Lake in his hit song “Hard Fought Halleluiah,” my head, heart and hands are feeling heavy but that’s when I lift them just a little higher.
I don’t know why my grandmother can’t remember my name or her sons’ names. I don’t know why she lost all the important memories of the last 80 years. I don’t know where her strength has gone. But I know one thing.
Even though her mind is near gone, her memories are near lost, and her time is near up, Jesus Christ still reigns, and He is the ultimate peacemaker.
In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
So, for all those who are hurting or struggling, there is hope. It is not a drink or a substance. It is not a political party or a sports team. It is Jesus Christ.
The one who came down to Earth from a heavenly throne to live as a poor carpenter. The one who lived a perfect life and died on a cross for you and me. The one who, after three days in a grave, defeated death and rose back to life.