Although I love going home, there is always a dilemma in my head before I leave. I know that I’ll have a good time, but I’m sad to begin the trip and drive away from Campbellsville, leaving my life and obligations here for a few days.
I love my life in Campbellsville. I love my friends and boyfriend. I love my work, classes and my church. I love my routine here. I love the feeling that I am pursuing what I love to do, living on my own, making my own decisions and being an adult.
I’ve been working at the Center for Faith and Ministry since my first semester, and I’ve loved all the doors my job has opened for me. I enjoy meeting new ministers and ministries from different parts of the U.S. and the world, and I especially enjoy planning the events and meals we provide for guests. I love being able to take the lead on projects at work and seeing my visions for certain activities or events we host come to life.
I love my classes and the studies I’ve chosen to pursue. I’m studying Christian missions, journalism and Spanish and all three of those are so exciting for me. Often, I experience those special moments in classes where I leave feeling so inspired to continue my studies and excited to graduate and begin what I believe will be such a fun career for myself.
All these adorations for Campbellsville are in my head as I’m getting ready to go home.
So, I pack my things to leave in a confused manner, because I never know what to pack when going home. I mean, it is my home. How many outfits should I bring? Do I need my hair and makeup products? What about pillows? On top of all my personal belongings to pack, I have homework to finish. So, I know when I’m home I never fully enjoy time with my family and friends because I’m either busy doing homework or thinking about doing homework. It would be so much easier to just stay in Campbellsville.
Yet, I leave for home, slightly worried about the weekend and already anticipating returning to CU. However, in the back of my head, ignoring all these worries, as I prepare to leave, I know I’m going to love being home. Maybe that’s another reason why it’s so hard to leave Campbellsville to go home- I know how much I’m going to love being home and that makes it so difficult to come back.
As I continue my drive home, my sadness about leaving Campbellsville subsides and in return an excitement begins to build up. I think of being able to see everyone I haven’t seen in so long- my brothers, parents, grandparents, cousins, old friends and my dogs!
I start imagining myself walking in the halls at home and hearing the constant sound of conversation somewhere in the house. I get excited to smell the candles my mom lights and to see the small flame flicker (I forget how much I love candles when I’m living on campus).
I get excited for the home-cooked meals! Finally, I will be eating a meal where I feel refreshed and full afterwards. Then, after dinner I’ll go to sit on our large couch in the living room and wrap myself in a Scooby-doo blanket and the dogs will come to cuddle with me. Finally, at the end of the evening, I will be sleeping in my queen bed with the softest bed topper ever.
Wow. Why would I ever be sad to leave Campbellsville for that beautiful life?!
Well, I love my life in Campbellsville because it’s my life. My entry way into adulthood and the beginning of my future and dreams. It sparks excitement in me.
In another way, I love my life at home because it’s home. It’s a safe place where I’m taken care of and loved. A place of reminiscence, joy and some sadness. It encourages me. And as much as I love being home, I am excited to come back to CU and return to all my ambitions.
Having this much adoration for my “two lives” makes it so difficult to glide between my worlds. I want to go home but it takes time away from my life here and vice versa. I want to stay in Campbellsville, but it takes time away from home.
Yet, I think it is a great blessing that I have two places in my life which I love, and which can pour into me- my dreams and aspirations, as well as my growth.
These two lives and places work together to support me. One without the other, I believe, would lose its value. My life in Campbellsville has grown me as a person. I am constantly learning something new, whether in books or just in life. My faith is tested and proved, and God has taught me a lot of what being a Christian looks like in the real world. I’ve figured out who I want to be and how to better pursue that person. My life in Campbellsville is hard work, growing pains and determination. Such a life needs a reset or a break.
My life at home is my reset. I find rest at home (not always literally, because my family stresses me out most of the time). I may even add that I am humbled at home. Often, I return, maybe feeling as if the sun revolves around me and a full house will quickly remind a person that the sun does, in fact, not revolve around them. So, I think home brings me back to reality. I am no longer on the go and living in my dreams, but am on steady ground, seeing the effects of hard work, persistence and family. My life at home is my reset and my reward.
Therefore, I struggle traveling between these two lives, because both are very different and have their own beautiful and unique contributions to my life. However, I need both lives, and I am so thankful that God has gifted them to me.