The past few days have been so incredibly difficult for all of us, whether we are CU students, faculty, staff, parents of students, or even just members of the community. There are so many concerns that flood our minds, and so many questions that seem to have no answers. The weight that fills the silences of classrooms hangs heavy over our heads and in our hearts.
Josiah Malachi Kilman was a bright light in our community. He loved God and he loved those around him. He was a stellar example of how we should live our lives and treat others. While I didn’t know him personally, I have heard nothing but amazing things about this young man. He was and is loved by the community—not just of CU, but of Campbellsville. Even though I didn’t know him, the loss of a fellow student weighs deeply on me every day since the senseless violence that took him away from us occurred. Knowing what his family, friends, and anyone who knew him must be going through completely breaks my heart.
Things cannot be expected to go back to normal. We can’t be expected to feel alright in a time like this—and that’s okay. To really process and grieve, we all must sit with our emotions and let them be what they are. No matter what you feel in this time of loss—sit with that feeling, and let it be what it is. Grief comes in many stages and forms—and that’s okay, too.
While classes continue, and events carry on, I feel the grief and pain of myself and my fellow students and faculty. That is what has made it hard for me to come to terms with resuming classes this week—seeing the effect this incredible loss has on others, especially those who were close to Josiah. It feels wrong to come back to classes so quickly when this senseless tragedy has only occurred days before. I didn’t even know Josiah, and the pain of losing a fellow student has been immeasurable. I simply cannot imagine how those closest to him feel when they step into the classrooms he was once in; how they feel when they walk by his dorm.
For this reason, I believe we all need space to grieve and process our emotions. It’s hard to focus on academics, and with midterms around the corner, it’s almost unbearable. Some benefit from the continuation of classes and university events to distract themselves. Others, like me, need space to grieve and process our feelings. Either way, we are all hurting and will never, ever forget Josiah and the life he lived for God and for others.
