Throughout my college career, I’ve had many changes of heart when it came to switching my major or emphasis. In the beginning of August 2021, as a bright-eyed freshman, I was a psychology major with a music minor as a violinist/violist. Why psychology? I couldn’t tell you. It must have seemed fitting at the time. I just knew deep in my soul that I was put on this earth to make music and do something psychological in life. Music flowed within my veins, and that’s just who I was: a musician. How could I deviate from this glorious, underpaid and underappreciated path that was set before me? I knew deep down that the life of a mediocre musician was one that I had to pursue.
Until it wasn’t.
Cue freshman year, semester two. I was a psychology major with an interest in criminal justice, and I was intent on saving the world, one person at a time. Deep within, I knew I was put on this earth to deal with juveniles who were disadvantaged and needed guidance. I wanted to be a beacon of light for these teenagers. This is when I decided to become a double major in criminal justice and psychology. The world was an icky place, and I, at around 20 or so years old, was ready to tackle it head-on. Being only around 19 or 20 myself, it did not dawn on me just how incredibly rude and potentially dangerous these teenagers would be, or how incredibly draining and underpaid such a job could become for me.
Soon, it was for some reason suggested to me by a professor who I admired that my incredibly introverted, shy little self who could barely talk to a stranger without wanting to cry should switch to social work. The idea of field work in this major intrigued me, and my desire to help those in need was still strong. The world hadn’t taken away my fire just yet, and I knew I could make a big difference in so many lives. The next semester, in the class Introduction to Social Work, I was assigned to follow a social worker of sorts around for a few hours. Cue me three hours later, exhausted and astounded that people could be so frustrating and cruel.
So, discouraged and aghast at society for how people treat each other, I decided to go back to my roots: writing. I first went into English after thoroughly enjoying a general education class that everyone else I have ever spoken with absolutely hated. No, I will not be naming the class. As I floundered about trying to decide what to do specifically in writing, and after talking with several professors, I decided journalism was my calling.
I was given an amazing opportunity to experience real-life journalism the next semester. Remember how I said I could barely talk to strangers without wanting to cry? While I don’t identify quite so strongly with that statement now, the sentiment still holds. Interviewing was awful due to me perceiving every interaction as a failure, and faking my way through small talk was atrocious. Phone interviews were almost worse, as the awkward silences were like taking a sledgehammer to my self-esteem. To this day, when my phone rings, I get a little pang of terror.
So, what was I to do now that human interaction proved to be a nightmare? Public relations, of course, the degree that deals with people. Now, before passing judgment, I can explain my thought process. Firstly, I finally decided on possibly going into copywriting or grant writing as a future career. Public relations as an emphasis has a focus on marketing, and both are types of written marketing with persuasion. Logical thinking, right? Well, it was until I started second guessing myself. I told myself I couldn’t do public relations because of my lack of public speaking skills and general dislike of human interaction. This caused me to go back to journalism, where I was still unhappy.
Finally, I decided that yes, I can do hard things like dealing with people, and I do need those marketing skills. Dealing with people isn’t the worst thing in the world, and I can get better at it.
Somehow, with all these changes, I’m still on track to graduate in May of 2025 after starting in August of 2021. If there’s any moral to my story, it’s this: don’t be afraid to try different things if you aren’t happy with the way things are going. Whether it be your major or something else in life, try and change what you can, and learn to accept what you can’t.
