It’s hard to define but also hard to resist. We don’t know when we’re doing it, but we know we sure do enjoy it. It is meddlesome and untrustworthy. It divides friends, hurts neighbors and destroys reputations and relationships and does so without lifting a finger.
I’m not speaking about any physical violence, but it is evil, nonetheless. Gossip.
Gossip is defined as the report about other people’s lives that might be unkind, disapproving or not true by the Cambridge Dictionary. In the Bible, it not only describes the act but also warns us about the type of heart that allows gossip to thrive.
Gossip is a sin? Yes, yes it is. Multiple passages of scripture say it is such. Romans 1:29-31, Proverbs 11:13, 1 Timothy 5:13, and so many more. So why do we do it so much?
Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Maybe we think we’re simply venting or trying to process a situation. Maybe we believe we’re helping by “sharing” information. Maybe it even feels like a way to bond or connect. But studies have shown that, often, we gossip to feel validated or to give ourselves a sense of belonging—even if it comes at the cost of someone else’s dignity.
If this is starting to feel a little too close to home, know that you’re not alone. This is not about assigning blame. It’s about inviting all of us to take a step back and reflect. Gossip isn’t just “keeping up with the latest news.” It’s something that can hurt people deeply and quietly—often without them ever knowing.
At its core, gossip is a form of betrayal. The reason it is betrayal is because it is done outside the presence of the one who is the subject of the group. However, there is a slippery slope here. What if I’m just trying to figure out the best way to tell this person what I’m feeling? Do so in a loving way and a way that does not separate but creates unity.
While it’s normal to process feelings and frustrations, there’s a big difference between gossiping and seeking wise, Godly counsel. One tears down; one builds up.
We are commissioned to be kind and compassionate to one another. I have yet to hear any words of gossip that fit that criteria. Ephesians 4:29 calls us to speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”
In our context of Campbellsville University, it may seem like there are not a lot of “trustworthy” people to befriend. Or the only reason your friend group gets together is to talk about other people behind their back.
It can also feel like everyone knows everything about everyone because we go to such a small university. And it’s easy to fall into friend groups where conversations sound like this.
“Who did what?!”
“Who’s dating who!”
“She said this.”
“He did this.”
But what if we flipped the script?
What if instead of forming a space where cheap talk is what we feed off of, we marked our conversations with kindness, encouragement and trust?
If someone trusted you with something, be that trustworthy person.
If you have a problem with somebody, find a loving way to approach them about it and find a solution.
When you’re in a space and gossip starts creeping in, there are three ways to deal with it. Shut it down, shout it out, and shield; don’t shovel. Ask to stop the gossip or just remove yourself from the conversation.
As easy as it is to fall into the gossip, you be willing to call it out for what it is. The NYC police department has a saying: If you see something, say something.
And lastly, when you recognize the gossip happening, seek to protect the one who is being talked about. They’re not there to do it themselves, so why can’t you? Shield that person’s reputation and character, and don’t shovel coal onto the fire.
With every temptation to gossip, God provides a means to escape. Though it may seem like a quick way to boost yourself, let love fill us up. Speak only what brings glory to God and uplifts others.
Because what if that were you?
